A Strength or an Overdone Strength - What's the difference?

Confident or Arrogant is the question I always ask people about this man?

'Arrogant' because he showed a lack of respect towards his opponents and the US Army draft system. 'Confident' because he held the World Heavyweight title on three different occasions, all that while being banned from boxing during the crucial years of his development. So what is the defining line? When do we move from the 'strength' of confidence into its 'overdone strength' of arrogance. 

Theory suggests that a strength remains a strength if you can find and maintain a balance around the Frequency, Duration, Intensity and Context under which you deploy or execute it. It also states that any strength can be overdone or misapplied, so in theory we are all potentially in trouble! The key to success is how you manage the Frequency, Duration, Intensity and Context of the intended strength...simple!

I've just bought a new car (I'm very excited about it!) and as it's only been in my life for less than a week, I'm currently committed to keeping it clean. Now I think the Frequency (every other day or less if its rained), the Duration (as long as it takes to ensure it's really CLEAN) the Intensity (I now have 3 drying cloths) and the Context (It's light silver and someone worked hard to make sure that colour was perfect when they created it and I owe it to them to ensure it shines as brightly as possible) are all bang on, therefore I'm quite obviously still operating in the positive and intended 'Strength' side of things and I'm sure you'll all agree. It is however, really easy to step over the line...(apparently)!

We all have our passions and motivators, the things that inspire us, the things we all just wished others could see like we do, in their intended and purest sense.  The 'right' things or doing things the way they 'should' be done. So is it our own passion that pushes us over the edge or is it just down to others perceptions and them not understanding our positive intent? I've built, and have been using my own 'strengths volume dial' (and I'm sure I still get it wrong as much as I do right) to help me find the right balance. For example, my tolerance for offering and being helpful is huge, thankfully I've learnt that sometimes, for others, my helpful can quickly become smothering if Im not careful with the 'dial'. 

Now my love of the Bee Gee's means I can take 'You should be dancing' at a full 10 out of 10 on the new car volume dial, but when a particular friend of mine is with me even a modest 3 out out of 10 of Mr Gibb is simply too much for him to bear. (Madness I hear you all cry, i know!). So I guess all I've done is taken this approach and used this to help me in the way I deploy my own behaviours and strengths.

So now my 'helpful' always starts on a 4 or a 5 out of 10,  just until I find out if they are a fellow 'Bee Gee'er' so to speak and then I can dial it up...or quite quickly down if they're not, either way its not too harsh on either person! It works for me, and has definitely helped me refine my 'helpful' and help me learn to balance my intended strengths. Do I get it wrong? of course, lots of times, am I learning to just get a bit better? I think so.

The one thing we can all mange is how we send our strengths into the world, how we help people see our positive intent, either through our choice of language or behaviour. Perhaps all we need to do more is gauge the audience a little more and set the volume dial at a number that gives us the flexibility to move one way or the other.

So I'll ask the same question to close: Muhammed Ali, Confident or Arrogant? and is your answer based on where his dial sits or yours? KeepTheLearningBurning...